GrassUnderMyFeet on Xanga

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Just Being Angsty <3

I want it dark, I want to forget it all. I want it empty, I want to let time pass me by. I want it devoid of emotion, I want to leave this place. I want it free of this prison. The other world is made to destroy, to desecrate. Everything sacred has to go! Virginity 50% off! My worth is only measured in how hard I can get you. I wish I never hoped for anything better. Childish ideals are just lies perpetuated by parents to send you into the ocean with a faulty raft. They kept me afloat for a while, enough for me to slowly learn to swim as I sank. I’ve barely started, but I’ve already grown tired of this ocean. Now! To swim slower, to sink bit by bit, until nothing is left but the waves.

(I'm not going to DO anything, I just wanted to share some writing...)

Hole

You know, listening to 'Celebrity Skin' it makes me sad to see C. Love basically burnt out. The entire album seems like it was written with my life in mind, every track reminds me of some time in my life. Wanting to save someone from pain, make them love you, "make over" yourself to be what they want. It makes me realize that, yes, there is that dark side to me. And it's easy to slip into that depressive state, to just lie around and pity oneself, but that's not life. Life should be enjoyed, as it is. With acceptance of the highs, and observance of the lows.

Getting Into the Groove

Work has been getting better, so thank goodness! Still need to work on being able to "fly" like my coworkers do. But i've been chatting more with them and getting to know them more, so i've been feeling better. One major struggle for me was to do the 'Pastry Case' in 20 minutes, which I'm happy to say I did yesterday :) I haven't had much of a social life, because all the times my friends want to do something, it's planned for the weekend. So I never really get to go as I work mostly on fri/sat/sun and a few days during the week. One thing that's been making me happy is a new K-drama i'm getting into called 'Prosecutor Princess' i've only watched the 1st ep so far, but I think this is the beginning of a BEAUTIFUL show for me <3 In other news, Pierce is starting on Monday so i'm scared to death of that! My emotions are partly nervous, partly excited. Thoughts keep racing through my head like, 'Will I make new friends?', 'Are my teachers nice?', 'Will there be a cute boy or two ;)?'. Gosh, I sound like i'm 13 all over again starting high school! Oh well, everything is kind of a cycle right?